The Chair
The Chair
No, this is not an article about a country song.
There are many actions that we take in life that begin with a thought, and then it becomes a choice that results in those actions. That is what I hope that this article will do for you.
Imagine for a moment, a room - living room, den, man cave; or whatever you consider to be a pleasant and comfortable room...imagine that place in your mind and heart.
In the comfort of that room, imagine that there are two empty chairs.
One of the two is a chair in which you will sit. The other chair is empty and facing you, just a few feet away.
While you are sitting in your chair, you will control the conversations that will take place with the person who sits in the other chair.
This empty chair might include a number of people that you know who occupy that chair. Let's take a look at some of them and imagine some interesting, and hopefully life changing conversations.
First in the chair, think of someone who has been special to you in your life. Maybe they have gone to be with the Lord, or maybe they are still living. Either way, they have made a difference in your life, so think of some things that you might want to tell them. Maybe something like:
"Thank you for being there during times when it seemed that the rest of the world turned their back on me."
"Your love for the Lord, your wise counsel, and your Christian testimony enriches my life more than you know."
"Thank you for living like Jesus in front of me."
A couple of years ago, I made a list of people whom God used in my life in my younger, formative years in which He was preparing me to be a Pastor. Each of them made a contribution in some way, and were used by the Lord to change my life. Many of them have gone to be with the Lord. However there are some who are still living, and I took the time to write and thank them for their contribution to my life and ministry. I am glad I did.
That was easy. Let's try another. Maybe the special person in the chair is someone in your life who looks up to you as an influence in their life. You might want to tell them:
"I realize that you look up to me, and I never want to hurt you, disappoint you, or lead you in the wrong direction."
"I want to be an example of our Savior and live before you in a way that will please the Lord and be a blessing to you."
As we go through life, we often encounter problems that are not pleasant. They may be hurts that we experience, or they may be hurts that we cause. The result might have been a damaged friendship. Hurtful words or actions are expected from an enemy, but are intensely painful when they have been inflicted by a friend. Forgiveness is the answer. Somehow we need to express to them that "our friendship is bigger than this problem". I have discovered some important truths as a Pastor. One of which, is that God permits difficult people to come into our lives to give us an opportunity to express His love and patience toward them, just as our Lord has made known His love and patience toward us. It is important that we deal with these hurts that we have encountered.
So next in the chair is someone who hurt you at some point in your life.
They said or did something that hurt you. Something that may have cost you a relationship, or a career. This hurt has been crippling, maybe not physically, but emotionally, and certainly spiritually. They might not even realize how hurtful and painful that their words or actions have been to you. They may have even forgotten about it. But you haven't. What would you tell them? How would you express it in a manner that will begin to bring healing to that wound?
Before we move to the next person, look at it this way. Maybe you are having a hard time getting over the behavior of a person who has acted badly. Don't be them. Learn from them. Be determined to not behave the way they behaved. Don't do the things that they did, or handle things the way that they handled them. You do not have to be what they have become. It is not a matter of being "better than them". To put it simply, you may be able to win a battle that they may have lost.
Finally, imagine in that chair someone whom you have hurt, maybe even unintentionally. But now you have reached a point in your life in which you look at that hurt in a different way. You have thought about what they have probably endured and how much your words or actions hurt them. You have grown to the point that you understand at least some of their pain. You know that it changed their life in a quite negative way. How would you approach that? What would you tell them? What could you say that would begin the healing process?
You might ask, "what if someone is not willing to forgive me"? Forgiveness is their choice, you can only ask for it.
Trying to mend old wounds is rarely easy. Knowing what to do and following through with it are two different things. People change over time. It is possible to mend old wounds, but things may not be the same as they once were. For the Christian, we are commanded to forgive (Ephesians 4:30-32; Colossians 3:13). Forgiveness is always the right step. Though forgiveness is commanded and should be both given and received, trust is a different issue. Trust is not automatic. It has to be earned over time. There are some people in life to whom we will never be as close as we once were.
Lastly, the person in the other chair is you. You are in your chair looking at yourself seated in the other chair. While looking at yourself, ask what are sure to be some life changing questions:
"What do I need to change or do differently to make my walk with God richer and deeper?"
"What is holding me back from being the Christian that the Lord wants me to be?"
"Is there something in my life that I know is displeasing to the Lord?"
"If I could do something for the Lord, and I knew that there was a 100 percent chance of succeeding, and it could not possibly fail; what would it be?"
Life is too short to miss out on opportunities that could change our life, and change the life of someone else in a positive, Christ honoring way. The answers to these questions could change many lives both now and for eternity.
That's a nice chair. It looks comfortable. Have a seat. Let's talk.