Life is Relational
Think About It
Life is Relational
Relationships go back to the Garden of Eden beginning with Adam, and relationship problems have been around almost as long. The Lord created people to be relational. He created us to relate to Him...to fellowship with Him. Even though Adam could enjoy fellowship with God, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone,” and so God created the woman (Eve) for him. The Lord's intention was for Adam to have a wife and to begin the human race. Adam and Eve enjoyed that beautiful fellowship with God until sin entered (Genesis 3).
Sin is the problem that harms, divides, and, in some cases, destroys relationships; the primary way it does so is through selfishness (which is rooted in our sin nature). When there is a problem in a relationship, you can be certain that selfishness has entered into it. Putting others before self is a difficult, yet important key to maintaining healthy relationships (Matthew 22:37-39). God intended marriage to be the most wonderful relationship on Earth. In addition, there are other meaningful relationships: family, relatives, friends, coworkers, church family, neighbors, and acquaintances, all of which have importance in our lives. It takes work and effort to put others before self, especially in marriage, but the effort results in great blessing.
In addition to the intended blessing of relationships, the longer I live, the more I am amazed at how the Lord brings people in and out of our lives. I believe He orchestrates this to benefit us, to benefit them, or for mutual benefit. As I write this article, I think of a number of people whom the Lord used to change and enrich my life, people for whom I am eternally grateful.
Over time, there are three main ways that relationships change or end: death, distance, and disagreement. One of those changes is death. For the Christian, death is not a “goodbye” but rather a “see you later.” One day, there will be a grand reunion for believers.
A second way change happens is through distance. Living miles away or spending time apart affects communication and closeness. Time and distance can erode relationships and cause them to fade like a sunset giving way to the night sky. Like it or not, there are some people in life with whom we will never be as close as we once were.
Thirdly, there is the problem of disagreements in relationships. Sometimes, the test of a relationship can make it stronger in the long run; sometimes, due to pride, blame, guilt, or other problems rooted in our sin nature, relationships are broken, unlikely to be repaired or restored. Certainly, forgiveness is available and should be extended on both sides (Ephesians 4:32). When trust is severed, it makes for a difficult repair, but not necessarily impossible. Time, grace, and hard work must be invested to restore trust that has been broken.
Perhaps you are currently enduring a problem with a relationship -- maybe a marriage or a lifelong relationship, one that is well worth the effort of maintenance and repair. Here are some thoughts to remember for maintaining and, when needed, repairing relationships:
1. Remember that some people are hard to love and understand, but God permits difficult people to come into our lives to give us an opportunity to express His love and patience toward them, just as our Lord has made known His love and patience toward us.
2. Remember that communication is key to any relationship, and this is especially important when problems arise. If adults do not communicate and maintain communication as adults, childish problems are inevitable.
3. Remind yourself, “Our friendship is bigger than this problem.” In most cases, a relationship can be restored and repaired.
When possible, repair a relationship that can be repaired. But most important, a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1-2) is the most important relationship of all - and one which should be constantly maintained and enjoyed!
Think About It,
Barry